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"The Italian Bob" is the eighth episode of The Simpsons
Synopsis After Mr. Burns' old car breaks down, he tells Homer to pick him up a brand new Lamborgotti Fasterossa car in Italy. The rest of the family comes along with him, and after they pick up the car, they have a great time touring the country. However, after a huge wheel of Mortadella Cheese (not the sausage) lands on their car, they push it into a small Tuscan village nearby called Salsiccia. When they get there, they ask an elderly woman for help, and she tells them that the mayor speaks English. However, they find out the mayor is none other than Sideshow Bob. He explains to them that after he attempted to kill Bart, he came to Italy to begin a new life. After a rough start, the natives warm up to him after he helped them crush grapes into wine (using his enormous feet). After that, they elected him mayor of their village. Bob no longer has any intention of killing Bart, and it is revealed that he has a wife and son, Francesca and Gino, and they don't know anything about his past life in America. Bob begs the Simpsons not to tell anyone, and they agree in order to have the car fixed. The Simpsons enjoy spending time in the village, and they continue to keep Bob's past a secret. However, when Lisa gets drunk at a party, she starts to spout off about him being an attempted-murderer. He leads her away from the table, but as she stumbles backwards, she rips off his suit and everyone can see that underneath is his outfit from Springfield Prison. They find out the Bob is an attempted killer, and they take away his title as mayor. The Simpsons take off in the fixed car, and Bob swears vendetta on them. After the family flees, Bob begins to follow them on a motorcycle. Homer drives into a ditch and ends up driving on ancient Roman ruins, and after they go off the end, the car ends up on top of Trajan's Column in the Roman Forum. Bob's wife meets up with him, and she tells him that they will kill the Simpsons together as a family (Gino, too). Meanwhile, the Simpsons are wondering what they should do next. Lisa spots a bus with a poster advertising Krusty the Klown's performance in Pagliacci. They meet up with him at the Colosseum, and he puts them in as extras. However, Bob, Francesca and Gino find them and corner them in on the stage while Krusty, who went into a trap door, flees the stage, allowing Bob to perform the climax of Vesti la Giubba. Before they can kill them, though, Krusty's limo picks them up. The Terwilligers walk away with evil smiles, no doubt plotting revenge. Trivia Awards Goofs Quotes Burns: How dare you mock my Mobile-a-mobile! It was the first car to outrun a man! Nelson: A caveman! (children laugh) I thought of that because I slept in a cave last night. Mr. Burns: Oh, of all the... I will not be lampooned by school children! Kill them, Smithers! Smithers: Uh, you could just buy a new car, sir. Burns: Well, whatever's easier. Martin: A new car? May I suggest an ''Olds''mobile? (dead silence) Nelson: Mr. Burns sucks! (everyone laughs) Burns: I won't forget who mocked me! I'm taking your picture! (takes out an old fashioned view camera) Now, hold perfectly still for seventy-eight minutes. (after a few seconds, the children leave and Mr. Burns falls asleep) Burns: Yes. Homer: Can I take my family? Burns: Sure. Homer: Do I have to hang out with them? Burns: It would be nice. (Homer groans) Homer: (excited) Marge, are you encouraging me to be irresponsible? Bart: Why don't you encourage him to get us some health insurance? Homer: Why you little-! (strangles Bart) (Bart then pulls a lever, and a robotic arm holding a car door begins to hit Homer on his head. They eventually pass out) Line Manager: (to Marge) So, first time in Italy? (Homer rips off some of the wires and one of the engines falls off, landing in Cletus' front yard) Cletus: Hey, Brandine! The kids just gots themselves a new playpen! Brandine: Cletus, you're the most wonderful husband and son I ever had. Lisa: Well, some people in Europe think that America has made some stupid choices for the past, oh, five years. So for the next week, I'm from Canada. Bart: Uh, I think Dad may blow your cover. Homer: (pushing through the crowd) That flag is mine! (takes an American flag off the conveyor belt and stands on top of suitcases, waving the flag around) Don't mess with Texas! Shock and awe, losers! Shock and awe! Elderly woman: (shrieks) Kentucky! In Italia, this-a means whore! (smashes the mug and slaps Homer) Man behind chair: Indeed I do. (man turns around to reveal that he is Sideshow Bob) Simpsons: Sideshow Bob! Bob: The Simpsons! (they all scream) Bob: (gets up and faces the window) My tale begins after I had once again attempted to murder Bart. Homer: Okay, so far I'm rootin' for ya. (in a flashback, Bob opens the front door of his old house in Springfield, takes off his hat and puts in on the coat hanger, puts his knife away and sits down) Bob: (narrating) I needed a fresh start. But where? (He walks up to the globe and spins it around. He covers his eyes and stabs the knife into the globe, which lands on Orlando, Florida) Not in this lifetime! (He spins it again, and the knife lands on North Korea) Damn it! (He spins it again, and the knife lands on Shelbyville) Never! (He spins it again, and the knife lands on a fictional country called Bartovia that looks like Bart winking; it is supposedly located near Italy) Now cut that out. (He moves the globe slightly and stabs the knife in Tuscany) Ah, Tuscany. Fortune is finally smiling upon me. (steps on a rake and groans in annoyance, then throws it on the floor) Man crushing grapes: (in Italian) Our tiny feet suck. Lisa: (whispering) Dad, don't act like Mussolini. Homer: Ooh, I thought I was doing Donald Trump. Homer: Holy moley! I always thought that you were, you know, out loud and proud. Bob: Well, I experimented in college as one does. Homer: Yeah. I never went to college. Bob: (sarcastically) Stop the presses. Francesca: Bart Simpson? The name Roberto cries when he has the bad dream? Gino: (making stabbing motions with his hand) Bart Simpson! Bart Simpson! Bart Simpson! I make-a like my daddy! (grunts and makes more stabbing motions) Bob: (takes Gino from Francesca and laughs nervously) Yes! Bart and I used to go, uh, fly fishing together. Gino: (running around on the floor in a circle and making more stabbing motions) Die, Bart! Die, Bart! (steps on a miniature rake and groans in annoyance, then falls over) Bob: (chuckling) You little scamp! (laughs and puts down Bart's shirt) You know, you'll make some murderer very happy one day. But, it shan't be me. Marge: Uh, well... (in Springfield, Chief Wiggum, Lou, and Eddie burst into Sideshow Bob's old home) Wiggum: Eat justice, Sideshow Bob! (the cops unload their machine guns. When they're done, they see that there are little kids having a birthday party) Lou: Chief, I tried to warn you. Sideshow Bob hasn't lived here for months. Wiggum: Oh, God, am I sorry. (chuckles) Oh, hey, is that a Penn State banner? 'Cause my cousin went there. Did you know him? Mark Wiggum, fat kid? Played a lot of Tetris? (the kids still stare, shocked beyond comprehension) Bart: At least this time it was Lisa who ruined Bob's life. Lisa: (groaning) Oh, I feel so sick! Homer: (chuckles) It's called a hangover, sweetie. And it's an unavoidable part of life. Bob: Francesca, you've come to me. Well, you've caught me at the right time because I swear (hold up his arm) never to raise this hand in vengeance again. Francesca: (grabs his arm) No, Roberto! If the Simpsons have dishonor you, they have dishonored our family. And we should take revenge as a family. Gino (pulls out a knife): Vendetta! Vendetta! Vendetta for me papa! (tosses the knife in the air and skillfully catches it with his finger) Bob: Ah! Revenge is a dish best served...family style! (Bob laughs manically, as does Francesca and then Gino. Gino than falls to the ground and begins crying. Francesca picks him up, and he laughs again while Bob and Francesca smile menacingly) Butcher: (in Italian) Sono abitato dai fantasmi di diecimila maiali morti. (English captions read: I am haunted by the ghosts of ten thousand dead pigs). Bob: (chuckles nervously) Yes, you crave my skillful touch. Now take the boy and shut the door. I'll rock your world anon. (gets Francesca and Gino out, closes the door, then gets on his knees in front of the Simpsons) Simpsons, I beg of you. Please don't destroy the new life I've created here! Surely the most heinous criminal deserves a seventh chance. Homer: (groans) Opera? They have that here too? Krusty: Vendetta? What's that, an Italian vending machine? (the Simpsons stare at him for a few seconds before Krusty bursts into tears) Aw! That's my opening joke! And my closer, and my saver, and my topper! Homer: Can I be the Phantom of the Opera? Lisa: Dad, the Phantom isn't in this. Homer: But I do such a great impression of him! (turns around and turns back to them with his hand covering one of his eyes) Ooh, I am the gayest supervillian ever! Beware my scented candles! Ooh, scented! Gino (sighting the Simpsons): Vendetta! (puts a knife in his mouth and slide down a rope) (muffled) Vendetta! Vendetta! Vendetta! Bob (to Francesca): I don't wish to brag, but he's evil at an eighth grade level! Krusty: Yeah, well, I need someone to help me smuggle antiquities back to America. Take a piece and hide it on your person. Hide it well. Homer: (to Lisa) Well, what am I supposed to do about it? Transport water from distant cities? Homer: (about to drive off an end of the aqueduct) Lazy Romans! Man from audience: We call it "Napoli"! Krusty: Yeah, well it sounds like you're all taking a Napoli! I know you're out there, I can hear you being greasy! Marge: Oh, Homie, isn't Venice romantic? This gondola ride was a wonderful idea! Gondolier (singing to the tune of That's Amore): When a wife looks like that and her husband's so fat, that's immoral. When she kisses that jerk while I do all the work, that's im... Homer: Hey, knock it off! Gondolier: Excusi, no speak-a English. (singing) When that big tub of lard... Broadcasting Information USA/Canada Germany | |||||||||
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