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Skinner's Sense of Snow is an episode from season twelve of the animated TV series The Simpsons.
Synopsis While the Simpsons attend a French-Canadian circus, a freak blizzard hits Springfield, turning it into a winter wonderland overnight. However, Springfield Elementary School is the only school that did not declare a snowday. Some students from both Bart's and Lisa's classes show up while Skinner and Willie are the only faculty members to still be working. To pass the time, Skinner plays the ultra-boring movie "The Christmas That Almost Wasn't, But Then Was". While they are watching the movie, the snow piles up and traps everyone in the school. Skinner quickly determines that they will be unable to get out and will have to remain there for the duration of the storm. The kids complain about things they have to go home for, but Skinner firmly declares that no one can escape. The kids are forced to eat relish and mayonnaise. After Nelson fails to escape, the kids begin to go beyond Skinner's control. To maintain order, he dons his old army uniform. Meanwhile, Homer and Ned set off to rescue the kids, but while driving, they hit a fire hydrant, encasing their car in ice. They allow carbon monoxide to enter the car, and suffer hallucinations. In the middle of the night, Bart tries to dig a tunnel to get everyone out. He gets caught by Skinner, who orders Willie to destroy the tunnel. Willie refuses, and when Skinner insults him, he quits. Skinner decides to destroy it himself, but gets trapped in the cavern. The kids take advantage of this and take over the school. Skinner uses the school hamster, Nibbles, to get a message to the outside world. Nibbles makes it to Ned and Homer, which breaks the ice and frees them. Homer turns on the car's cruise control, sending the car going out-of-control and crashing into a salt silo. However, Homer's blunder fortunately releases a massive amount of salt that melts the snow around the school, freeing the kids, but rusting the car's body completely. A camel version of Lisa (from Homer's CO-inspired visions) wishes viewers a Merry Christmas. Trivia Quotes Kids: Aaaahhh! Milhouse: We're gonna miss Christmas! Kids: Aaaaaaaahhhhh! Skinner: I fixed the DVD! Kids: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Homer: Do you have airbags? Ned: No, the church opposes them for some reason! Willie: You heard the principal. Everyone gets one apple and a handful of relish. Chalmers: (in Skinner's head) SKINNER!!! Skinner: Oh, that's no help. Soldier 1: Sarge, let's make a break for it while the guards are partying with Jane Fonda. Sgt. Skinner: Nope. Too dangerous. We're gonna sit tight and reminisce about candy bars. Soldier 2: Well, uh, one time, I'm eating a candy bar on the beach, and this girl starts takin' off her bathin' suit. Skinner: Get back to the candy bar! Soldier 1: Screw this! I'm gettin' outta here! (breaks through the bamboo and runs) Skinner: No, you fool! (Skinner and Soldier 2 gasp. Soldier 1 is grabbed by an elephant who wearing a coolie hat and is eaten) Skinner:That elephant ate my entire platoon. Ned: I think we hit something. Homer: I hope it's Flanders! He-he-he-he-he! (He notices Ned glaring at him) Homer: I'm just kidding. Hey, you're all right. (He playfully punches Ned's arm) Homer: (singing) I feel like making love, making love to you! Do-do-DO! Do-do-DO! (he swerves and hits a snowbank on the third 'DO!' each time) Ned: Catchy song alright... you really wrote it? Homer: Yeah ... as a tribute to Princess Di. And Dodi. Because these days, princesses-- (Before he can finish, Homer slams the car into a fire hydrant, encasing it in ice) Homer: Oh ... Stupid Ice! I always knew I would die caked in something. Ned (as carbon monoxide fills the car): Well, better turn off that engine before those fumes put us in tombs. Homer: No, let's just leave it on 'til we forget our troubles. Ned (dreamily): Sounds like a plan... (They both pass out) (the camera pulls out. Part of Ned's roof is cut out and that section has turned his car into a make-shift snow plow) Homer: My car, your roof. It's only fair. Ned: But it's my car! Homer: Well, yeah. Ned: What ever happened to the plow from your old snow plow business? Homer: I never had a snow plow business. Ned: Sure you did -- Mr. Plow. You're wearing the jacket right now. Homer (sees his Mr. Plow jacket): I think I know my own life, Ned. (singing) Call Mr. Plow, that's my name, that name again is Mr. Plow. (drives out of Ned's driveway, knocking over Ned's mailbox in the process) Ralph (in background): Go Nelson!(Nelson crashes his bike into the wall of snow. His bike flips up and ricochets off desks, the back wall, etc.) (the kids groan) Kearney: But it's my kid's birthday! Martin: I'm doing a puzzle with Grandmamma and she'll finish without me! Skinner: Yes, yes, yes. We all had plans...except me, ironically, I'm right where I wanna be. Nelson: I can cut through the snow. I'm part Eskimo. Skinner: I don't care if you're Kristi Yamaguchi! No one leaves the building! Bart: This sucks! We'll miss the Itchy & Scratchy where they finally kiss! Skinner: I don't care if they're kissing Kristi Yamaguchi! You're not going home! (the kids complain) Sherri: That's so unfair! Milhouse: Skinner's the real Grinch! Skinner: What is that? Some kind of plush novelty? Ralph: Yes, ma'am. Skinner: Just use this scouring pad. It's just as good. Ralph (rubs his face with the pad): It's cold and hurty (sic). Homer: Aww, I wanted to see them shoot a gorilla out of a cannon. Marge: I don't like the sound of that "class 3". Homer: I dunno. Internet? | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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