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Attachment parenting, a phrase coined by pediatrician William Sears, is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of the attachment theory in developmental psychology. According to attachment theory, a strong emotional bond with parents during childhood, also known as a secure attachment, is a precursor of secure, empathic relationships in adulthood. History Attachment parenting describes a parenting approach rooted in attachment theory. Attachment theory proposes that the infant has a tendency to seek closeness to another person and feel secure when that person is present. In comparison, Sigmund Freud proposed that attachment was a consequence of the need to satisfy various drives. In attachment theory, children attach to their parents because they are social beings, not just because they need other people to satisfy drives and attachment is part of normal child development. Developmental psychologist Mary Ainsworth devised a procedure, called The Strange Situation, to observe attachment relationships between a human mother and child. She observed disruptions to the parent/child attachment over a 20 minute period, and noted that this affected the child's exploration and behavior toward the mother. Dr. Sears Eight Ideals of Attachment Parenting Per Dr. Sears' theory of attachment parenting (AP), proponents attempt to foster a secure bond with their child by promoting eight "ideals," which are identified as goals for parents to strive for. These eight ideals are: These values are interpreted in a variety of ways across the movement. Many attachment parents also choose to live a natural family living (NFL) lifestyle, such as natural childbirth, home birth, stay-at-home parenting, homeschooling, unschooling, the anti-circumcision movement, the anti-vaccination movement, natural health, cooperative movements, and support of organic food. However, Dr. Sears does not require a parent to strictly follow any set of rules, instead encouraging parents to be creative in responding to their child's needs. Attachment parenting, outside the guise of Dr. Sears, focuses on responses that support secure attachments. Attachment Parenting and Childcare Attachment parenting proponents value continuous attachment to a primary caregiver. However, many still engage childcare, regardless of whether a parent stays at home. AP-friendly childcare focuses on meeting the child's needs first and adhering to the schedule or expectations of the adult workers last. Attachment Parenting and Discipline Attachment parents seek to understand the biological and psychological needs of the children, and to avoid unrealistic expectations of child behavior. In setting boundaries and limits that are appropriate to the age of the child, attachment parenting takes into account the physical and psychological stage of development that the child is currently experiencing. In this way, parents may seek to avoid the frustration that occurs when they expect things their child is not capable of. Attachment parenting holds that it is of vital importance to the survival of the child that he be capable of communicating his needs to the adults and having those needs promptly met. Dr. Sears advises that while still an infant, the child is mentally incapable of outright manipulation. Sears says that in the first year of life, a child's needs and wants are one and the same. Unmet needs are believed, by Dr. Sears and other AP proponents, to surface beginning immediately in attempts to fulfill that which was left unmet. AP looks at child development as well as infant and child biology to determine the psychologically and biologically appropriate response at different stages. Attachment parenting does not mean meeting a need that a child can fulfill himself. It means understanding what the needs are, when they arise, how they change over time and circumstances, and being flexible in devising ways to respond appropriately. Similar practices are called natural parenting, instinctive parenting, intuitive parenting, immersion parenting or "continuum concept" parenting. Criticisms of attachment parenting One criticism of attachment parenting is that it can be very strenuous and demanding on parents. Without a support network of helpful friends or family, the work of parenting can be difficult. Writer Judith Warner contends that a “culture of total motherhood”, which she blames in part on attachment parenting, has lead to an “age of anxiety” for mothers in modern American society. Another criticism is that there is no conclusive or convincing body of research that shows this labor-intensive approach to be in any way superior to what attachment parents term "mainstream parenting" in the long run. Psychologist Jerome Kagan has criticised attachment parenting studies for neglecting the influence of innate temperament. He argues that personality factors such as shyness are partially inherited. A child in the “strange situation” may be securely attached to his mother but cry because he has a highly reactive temperament. The American Academy of Pediatrics has recently amended its policy statement regarding SIDS prevention, and has come out against sharing a bed with small babies (though it does encourage room-sharing). Response to criticisms Attachment parenting adherents argue that the extra parenting effort is an investment in future ease, since the resulting strong relationship often makes future parenting simpler. Rather than being "strenuous", attachment parenting theory regards being available to one's children as natural and instinctive. In response to the above-mentioned American Academy of Pediatrics policy statement recommending against co-sleeping, Attachment Parenting International (API) issued a response which alleged the data referenced in the statement was unreliable, and that co-sponsors of the campaign had created a conflict of interest. API's response also outlines calls for an "objective, comprehensive, and independent report which analyzes the relative risk of all types of sleeping environments. Only when that is available can the CPSC truly assist parents in making the best decisions for their family." See also Critical articles Relevant publications | |||||||
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